I think you'd be surprised at how many times and channels Saved by the Bell still comes on. And you might be disturbed at how many times I've seen it lately. Geez. I watch it because I can't watch infomercials anymore. At 4am if you utter the phrase, "that's genius" while watching paid advertising for a mop... something is very wrong.
I'm exhausted. More than that. I'm so tired that I can't sleep. I spent all night cuddling a little boy who wouldn't tolerate being put down. He clung to me ALL NIGHT. Which is fine. But days upon days with little sleep makes a person slightly insane. So when Scott was gone with Trenton this morning, I sat on our bed and sobbed. Just cried and rocked little man. For about twenty minutes.
Ironically, the bounce of my chest as I heaved and cried put Carter to sleep. Sadly, now I'm too awake now to sleep. I laid there, in bed, and stared at the ceiling. Neat.
I knew this was coming. But damn.
As tired as I am, I'm already thinking about going back to work... and how much I don't want to. I like my job and all. It's just that I stayed home with Trenton for a year. It breaks my heart that I can't do so with Carter, especially since he's my last baby. But money is key to survival, I suppose.
So I'm crossing my fingers for lottery winning or that a wealthy person gifts me enough money to raise my children on. :)
1 comment:
Not only does this make me want to cry FOR you... it makes me want to live WITH you and help. Oh man.. I know it's coming too but I don't think you can actually prepare for it no matter how many times you do it. I have fears about not wanting to come back to work too... I've never considered the baby thing but now, I'm like.. UGH.. someone else will raise my child. I guess this just means that while we are at work (pumping together) we can shed a tear, hug and go back to our desks and KNOW that we have to sit here and take their crap and for good reason... we love our boys. Man, if I win the lottery, we'll split! xoxo, Jul
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