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Sunday, August 29, 2010

The Big C and Giraffe Spit

The Big C is an awesome show. It about a woman who discovers she has melanoma and has roughly a year. She struggles with telling her family and friends. Struggles with making the most of her time. Struggles with dealing with the emotion that come without invitation regardless of the inner moat you surround your soul with when that kinda news is delivered. I loved it.  I laughed loud and hard when she, a teacher by profession, tells her fat and rude student that she can't be fat AND a bitch.  She can be a jolly fat person or a skinny bitch.  BTW, it's the girl from "Precious".  Super funny.  It's funny.  It's heartbreaking.  It's great.

I'm fascinated by such things. How people deal with the way the entire world tilts {but just for you and no one else seems to notice} when a doctor sits down and delivers words with the impact of an unexpected head-on collision with a train.

I will never again be comfortable in an office with paper on the patients seat. The sound of that paper swirls in my head as the memory of professional empathy told me I had a cancer that could very well prevent me from ever having more children and that most often occurs in women more than twice my age. I can't remember the exact words she used. I don't remember what I said. I remember the sound of the paper I was sitting on as I shifted. I remember feeling like I had cotton in my ears. I remember a fog I couldn't blink away. And I remember that my lips were chapped because I was running my tongue over the rough skin of my bottom lip.

I don't like to talk about it. Sooo, I won't. But there was a point.

Almost a year ago, I blogged this:


It was in reference to a spot on my arm. I finally went in for a skin biopsy this week. I wanted to throw up as soon as I saw the paper covered chair.

People do this. A lot. Get biopsies. Logically, I know that.

But I sat. And I joked with my surprisingly pretty dermatologist {I don't know why I expected an ogre} as her nurse took a razor to my arm.

And now... I wait. The good news is, that if this turns out to be nothing, perhaps the blindingly white hot feeling in my gut will cease or lessen in the combined presence of exam rooms and hand sanitizer.

Palate Cleanser...

So, if you've seen my facebook page, you obviously know that we took the boys to Glen Rose on Friday to the Fossil Rim Wildlife Center.  They LOVED it.

Fun Summary
  1. It was a weekday after school started so the overcrowded madness that happens over the summer and weekends wasn't an issue.
  2. Carter called everything {Zebras, Deer, Giraffes, Antelope, etc.} a puppy.  It was SO cute. 
  3. It WASN'T 100+ degrees!
  4. A zebra bit me {because we were feeding the animals by hand which is technically against the rules} and Carter admonished him with a stern "NOOOO!".
  5. Trenton was disappointed we couldn't hand feed any lions, lol!
  6. While feeding a pretty white deer next to the sleeping cheetah cage, the cheetah proved his killer instinct still intact as he RACED from the other side of the cage to terrify our deer friend.  It was surprising and exciting, lol.
  7. Lunch and Gift shop time was fun!  Trenton got a shirt you can color yourself then wash and color again and a stand up giraffe that he named "Kevin".  Carter got a magnetized train with animals that ride in it and a Fossil Rim cup that's really cute.  Although, Carter thinks Kevin {who he just calls "puppy"} is his, too.  Could be an issue.  We'll see.
  8. Even though a zebra chewed on my drivers-side mirror and a deer scratched the shit outta the top of my car with his horns trying to eat from Trenton's hand, it was a GREAT day.
  9. Both boys slept the majority of the way home.  If I hadn't agreed to drive home, I would have, too... and almost did in spite of my driving responsibility.

 OH!  And Carter fell at school Thursday on the way out to the playground and messed up his nose to his forehead.  It looked HORRIBLE.  It's healing... slowly... but it looks better now than it did.  They called me at work and told me he'd fallen and scratched himself, but I wasn't prepared for the extent of the damage.  That's why he has a nasty scab on his nose.  Poor Monkey!



Stephanie said...

saying a prayer for you right now girl! :)

Anonymous said...

first of all I want to say that prayers are going your way for a good result from the biopsy. I remember when this happened last year. I hope and pray that all is well and will be looking for the good results soon.
As for your trip to Fossil Rim, that looks like a fabulous time and I want to go when I come to visit next April...I know that Tristan would love it.
Thank you for not taking down your blog. I've been checking it every few days to see if you had written again....thank you, thank you
Take care, my friend and please keep us posted. Margie

Fickle Cattle said...

I like the idea that you cannot be a fat bitch. Because it's true. You have to pick one or the other.

Good luck on your biopsy.


Jenny said...

Thinking about you, and praying for the very best God has for you, buddy. Waiting on news like that is the worst.

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