If God is the fount of living water...

then what am I? I am a fountain of milk spurting everywhere. I hate laundry. It pisses me off that now, even though I go almost NOWHERE, I change clothes several times a day because I leak onto my clothes. Gross. Sure, they make little nursing pads, but those require a bra. I don't want to wear a bra.. not even a nursing bra. I prefer the spports bra. That works for me super comfy. But I only have a couple. News flash, I don't work out and my boobs aren't that big, so I don't normally need them. So after I go through those, I am braless. Which equals leaky spots. So not only am I a gross dairy fountain, I am a broken, leaky one. Neato.

Breastfeeding sucks. The things we do for our children!! Carter does well, I mean, damn, he gained almost a pound at his 2 week followup after leaving the hospital. The child eats. And he caught on quickly. Before we left the hospital he had it down like a pro. But he has a preference. A boob preference. He apparently prefers the right side. Stage right. Because that breast is WAY bigger than the left. My left is back to it's normal size. Actually it may be smaller. But the right side, if I don't pump or feed him on that side, won't fit in a D cup. It's huge. I like to call it "Super Boob". So I look like a freak first thing in the morning before he eats. One giant, hard and pointed straight up suckler and one normal person booby. It's like I am siamese twins and one of us wanted a boob job and the other didn't. Then they even out after I feed him and pump, but damn it! I am a side show act!!

On to less disturbing things...

I dated a rich guy a few years ago. VERY well off. Our first date consisted of shopping at Saks Fifth Avenue, hour massages and a facial and then dinner at PF Changs. I also got 2 dozen fire and ice roses (12 delived beforehand and 12 ON the date) and outfits to wear. Our whole relationship was like that. I was addicted to oragnce tick tacks back then. So he brought me a paper grocery sack FULL of orange tick tacks. Almost full. A bottle of tequila (my drink of choice in the day) was hidden in there, too. And he drove 2 hours to give it to me and then turned around and left because I didn't know he was coming and had a girls night planned. Random things like that. I broke up with him. Because he was too far away. An hour drive. And I was in and out of another relationship with a guy who treated me terribly so I had to persue that, didn't I?! ::Sigh:: Youth is stupidity, I think. Anyway, I missed him the other day. Because I went Christmas shopping. LOL. I could have used his limitless bank account.

DAMN IT, I am broke. I am almost completely done, but I have NO money. And do you know how hard it is to shop for a child who will be 6 weeks old at Christmas time?! What do you get them?! He doesn't care at all, but I do. So Santa's bringing him clothes. Mostly. And a few toys that won't mean anything to him for a long time.

I love Christmas. But this year, Trenton is with his Daddy on Christmas so we have to wait and do our Christmas later. I hate these years. I want my babies WITH me. But I should feel blessed that his Daddy wants to be a part of his life. I have to remind myself that even though it's hard for me to swallow, it's best for T man. But I reserve the right to pout a little on Christmas morning.

Tonight, friends are coming over for game night. :) I am excited!! I love game night!! I play bunco regularly with a group of friends and our dinner club usually plays games after dinner, but I can't get enough!! We have lots of games and of course, we can always bust out rockband. That game makes me want to get more tats and a surley attitude (I drum). It stirs up rock n roll fantasies in even me. Rock on!!

I have lots more pictures of Trenton and Carter. I will upload them soon. But now I am off to shower and nap... hopefully.