I didn't even make it through LOST last night. I don't know how close we are, but if we're friends at all, you should know that I am addicted to that show. The off season means a nasty withdrawl period that makes me sad and involves alot of youtubing old episodes and montagues of the show put to music. Yeah, I'm a preteen little girl when it comes to that show. And I fell asleep in the middle of it last night. The season premiere. And Sawyer was shirtless through most of what I saw. How could I have passed out?! This is an indication of how tired I was... am... whatever. I am exhausted from the brand new routine of WORKING mother of two in addition to the anxiety I have from leaving the baby. I can keep it in check most of the day, but it wears me out. I am going to have to start taking something... seriously.
I almost ran into someone this morning. An easily avoidable accident, but I was pretty damn pissy, so I considered NOT getting out of the way and letting the idiot hit me. Who stops in the middle of the road and starts reversing without looking behind them?! Moron. She's lucky I only laid on my horn and called her names under my breath. Carter's first words will probably be obscene. ::Shrugs::
My life feels so wrong, right now. Leaving Carter behind every morning, coming here and not being totally back into the swing of things, pumping here is just...weird...
You're supposed to be relaxed and comfortable when you pump. I am ANYTHING but those two things. I have to carry my breastpump down to the 6th floor (I work on 10) and it screams "Hey, look at me!! I'm about to expose myself and hook my self up to a device similar to what milks cows!!". Not awkward at all. Then I have to sit in an empty office and HOPE that people respect the sign requesting privacy and don't barge in. It's not even someone seeing my boobs that worries me. It's them seeing me with those things on my boobs with the loud "WHOM, WHOM, WHOM" of the machine in the background. Pumping isn't sexy. It isn't normal. It's... uncomfortable. No one should see that.
Sooo, there's that, plus the fact that I ordered a little fridge (a huge thanks to my fabulous employer) to store the milk in. However, it arrived today. Well, "IT" didn't. They sent a microwave. Honest mistake. It happens. But what the hell good is a microwave going to do me? I'm not exactly nuking my lunch while I'm in there. Even if I wanted to, I don't have the free hands it takes.
At least lunch was catered in today so I can eat my feelings, LOL. Good start to my losing 10 pounds, eh?