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Tuesday, June 16, 2009

I just...

I just want to weep. Throw myself in bed and cry until I fall asleep. Cry the ugly cry. Heaving gasps and snot everywhere. Body shaking and out of control. I just want to weep. Both in relief and sadness.

I got a job today. A great job at a great company. A GENUINELY family friendly company. A place where I can wear jeans or shorts every day and one with super flexible hours. "You can come in whenever you want", I was told. 8am, 9am, 10am, whatever. Flexibility. I was told that I better not be at work when the kids have doctor appointments, award ceremonies or school open houses and things of that nature. The pay is good and will get better as I start getting bonuses. The people I've met are REALLY cool. Young people, but people with families and kids and lives. Pretty close to home. I'll have my own office with a door to shut out the world, lol. And there's the promise of growth.

It's exactly what I was looking for. And it came about so randomly. The product of another job's disappointing rejection. Rejection that had gotten to me a little bit. And then I got an upbeat call yesterday from an affiliation of that and less than 24 hours later I'm employeed. Amazing how He works, isn't it?

But my babies. I get frustrated with something almost daily. Kids screaming, Trenton not listening, Carter not wanting to nap, etc. But I LOVE it here. Watching movies under a blanket tent in the middle of the day, spending the morning outside drawing on the sidewalk, slip n slide after lunch, "concerts" performed on the fireplace in the late afternoon...

I will miss Trenton's golden phrases. He says things CONSTANTLY that crack me up. You have to wonder where he heard it. It's a joyful blessing sprinkled into my current days. He is my biggest fan and he makes sure I know it.

I will miss Carter's smile. The one he makes as we play on the floor in the afternoons. The one that is so big, I fear it could overtake his entire face. It seems like it might hurt his jaw to smile that big. I love it. It makes my heart warm.

But, I am thankful. I needed this. I feel... like dead weight not working. My husband has been VERY supportive. But I know he's been stressed.

My only regret is that there isn't enough money left over in my financial package from my last job for me to get a tummy tuck. But it's a good start for saving... :)

1 comment:

Stephanie Warner said...

Congratulations lady! I am TRULY excited and happy for you. I only wish I could find something like that. My job hunt is not going so hot, but it is not making me give up. What are you going to do with the boys now? If there is a way I can help, please let me know! I would definietly be willing too!

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