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Wednesday, August 17, 2011

RV there yet?

Ever hit a curb in your car? Misjudged where you were in relation to anything else and hit something? How often do you check your blindspot REALLY? I am a… let’s say “C” driver. I’m not on the honor roll. I barely staying qualified for extracurricular activities. I’m no flunkie, but I hit the occasional curb, other car, pole. Never a pedestrian though, so that’s good. Well, there was that one time in the grocery store parking lot… but they walked right in front of me and I was barely moving. I mean, I didn’t even knock them down, so that doesn’t count.

Anyhoo, last weekend this C student got behind the wheel of a 32 foot RV. Yep. And you drove somewhere in your tiny ineffectual car, didn’t you. On the same road as the Hurricane (the appropriately named model of RV we were in). Like finding out that the beach you were at was infested with sharks and you never knew you could have been a tasty treat. Better say a quick “thanks God” prayer.

LOL. I kid. I did fabulous, if I do say so myself. It is NOT easy to get out of a compact SUV that’s a STICK and jump in the friggin’ pilot seat of a vehicle that size and pull away. Not only does lefty keep searching for the clutch, but I’m sitting WAY above the road in a whale-sized automotive home. It’s… unnerving.

So to backtrack just a bit, my girlfriends and I borrowed my parent’s new RV to road trip the Girls Only way out to Winstar for a break from our stressors (families, kids, jobs, etc.). Plus, it was Bridget’s 29th birthday, so that just gave us a better excuse to get outta town and party it up. Which we did.

Friday – Departure Day – I left work midday and headed home to throw my bags in the car and meet Sarah who agreed to be my cocaptain and pick up our portable hotel with me before rendezvousing with the rest of our party. We trekked out to Rockwall and after some last minute instructions from my dad (I’d been through several “practices” so I’d heard it all, but it was nice to have Sarah to retain info, as well). I’ll admit, when I asked my dad, “what about ::blank::”, his response was always…”Well that SHOULDN’T happen”. I don’t know if you’ve ever seen a horror film, but they frequently star a group of travelers and almost always include a procession of events that SHOULDN’T happen. Oh no! A blowout! Oh that IS on the agenda? Ok! Hitchhiker with a chainsaw in one hand attacking whilst we wait for tire changing assistance? Totally in the plan. Ummmmm, no. ::Sigh:: So we set out, with a long list of things that SHOULDN’T happen and a semi convinced thought that we were going to be found slaughtered on a backroad in 2 weeks, but I watch a lot of the Chiller channel, so I pushed it aside.

We drove back to Plano with no incident. Other than getting lost in Mesquite. Which, if you’ll look at your map, is NOT between Rockwall and Plano. Confused? So were we. There was a plethora of craziness all within 5 minutes. Luckily, Captain Country Bottom (Sarah) and I sorted it out and remained friends. WHEW! 

We parked the Hurricane in Scott’s work parking lot to meet up with our gang of girlfriends. They arrived slowly with their families and kids, mine included, and we had a mini party on the bus before takeoff. However, that many people coupled with the generator driven AC unit set at 85 meant it was HOT in there. So families said goodbye and left. Well, everyone else’s did. My husband barely said goodbye and made no attempt to contact me at all while we were gone, but that’s to be expected, I guess. Have I mentioned how nice it was to get away?  

We were down to waiting for birthday girl Bridget. While waiting we all donned our “RV there yet” tee shirts that Jen brought us all. They are AWESOME! And we used that phrase over and over and over again. Then Bridget showed up with personalized flasks for us all. I’m telling you, we do things RIGHT. Then we were off! On a great adventure far away! Ok, to the Oklahoma border just up 35. But we hit traffic so it took longer and SEEMED further away. Again, I caused no deaths on the road (that I noticed) and we arrived at the RV Park in good spirits (with just mild tension cramping in my shoulders). The RV park was NICE! It was cleaner and more spaced out than I expected. After forcing Sarah to help me set up out electricity, water, and water return system, we were good to go! Now that the RV park was paying, we could jack that AC UP! Or down, I guess. Whatever, we could get cooler.

Wardrobe change and it was off to the shuttle (that runs every 20 minutes) to the casino. After some exploration, we bounced around the casino for a few hours. Amy hit up some table games, Bridget and Jen wound up… somewhere, and Sarah and I found some fun penny slots to fall in love with. Mine was Haunted House themed. It was perfect. And I was up $50 at one point. After awhile we all met up at a piano bar. Evidently a certain member of our party had been enjoying the handy use of the free soda served in the casino with the compliments of her custom flask a bit more than the rest of us. While inside the piano bar, we were treated to high kicks and a VERY confusion conversation involving the term “beast” and inflated observations that don’t always come across as compliments. My stomach ACHED afterward. I was literally crying with laughter. A genuinely hilarious time. After a birthday hokey pokey for Bridget was performed onstage (yes, high kicks from our SKIRTED friend occurred here, too), we all moseyed back out to the floor. While there were very loud and insistent requests to “just go dance”, we all went back to gambling. Where my new favorite machine took back what it delivered earlier that evening. When I started falling asleep at my slot, I packed it up and went home. I’d separated from the group and to this moment have no idea if they were all together or not.

I shuttled back to the RV where Sarah joined me a short time later. We ate junk and watched a series of progressively unappealing show snippets (weather – church – “depression and anxiety got you down?”) before we settled on the paintzoom infomercial. Eventually, our 3 remaining amigos returned and we settled in for the night. Or early morning. Pretty sure it was after 4am.

Bright and early the next day, we were up. Showers and eating put us past noon. We went to the casino for awhile before heading back to get dressed for Bridgets birthday dinner at Toby Keiths. However, we wanted to go to the 4pm Bingo game before dinner. After barely making it in time (thanks to a stealthy old man shuttle driver) we settled in for the most confusing thing I think I’ve ever done. Lots of papers and colors. A fast talking announcer with an accent… on one number in particular. Holy cow. This isn’t your 1st grade bingo, friends. This is INSANITY. We paid $24 for a million games (it seemed) and we were LOST the first game. Thanks to someone sitting next to me and her tips, we figured out what was happening and how to keep up with what was going on. Bridget even got a hardluck BINGO!!! The pot was $1199. She had to split it with lots of other people, but still got over $100 and she got to say “BINGO!”. So exciting! The rest of us were just happy to have figured out how to keep up. Props to the twilight crowd who does this regularly. To be that old and quick is a talent.

After Bingo, we were all EXHAUSTED. We went back to the RV for a sanity saver drink and to get Sarah’s debit card. Nice try, Sarah, but you have to pay for you meal! Lol. Just kidding. Anyway, dinner at Toby Keith’s was good. The portion was ENORMOUS! Whole cows made into chicken fried steak. My nachos trying desperately to compete with Jimmy Buffets in Vegas. MASSIVE amount of food. And my nachos were DELICIOUS! Other than weird band singer man who refused to face the audience and sang to the drummer all night, it was great!

Gambling followed. A few hours of tossing money into lit machines for the Indian Nation (See? It seems like a donation to charity when you say it like that) and we were all pretty beat. The night before was rough. All 5 of us headed back to the RV for games. After 2 three-handed games of Apples to Apples, we were all in bed. Midnight comes early when you’ve only had 4 hours of sleep.

The next day we checked out at 11 and headed home. I won’t say breaking down the RV is fun. There are things involved. Black water dumping. It’s smelly. And not fun. But luckily, my cocaptain Sarah helped me out there, too. Bleck!

The drive home consisted of me flipping out once, due to a red wasp trying to maim and kill us all. He had only gotten as far as walking around on the walls and stuff, but I know what he was planning. My friends thought they could divert my attention from this nasty vermin being in our presence, but upon threatening to pull over, I was clued in. Naturally I did the only rational thing there is to do and put the RV in park and ran to the back. Luckily we were on a little, non-main road. After destroying the Winstar Wasps attempts to infect us with his poison, we were back on the road and it was smooth sailing.

After sending everyone else happily home, Sarah and I drove back to Rockwall to return the Hurricane.

After loading up and returning to my car, Sarah didn’t feel well. She was a cocaptain displaced. Very sad. I was weirder out, too. I felt like I was sitting ON the road. Gone was my vehicular stature and power. Now I was one of the commoners. Not a good feeling.

BUT… it was fun. A good time I WILL be doing again. A girls trip is necessary at this stage of life, I think. And a HUGE thank you is owed to my parents for trusting me with their new RV. I’m not gonna lie, I find that to be a questionable decision.  But it’s done and I’ve proved myself, I think. I feel good about it.



k said...

next time you guys are going, i'm not going to quietly sit at home. i'm going to follow you. with a mask on. and a hockey stick.

be prepared.

KRiSTiN said...

hockey fan, are you? cool. me too. maybe you can actually ride with us next time. but you can bring the mask and stick, too, if you want.

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