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Tuesday, April 06, 2010

Take me out to the ballgame...

Yesterday was Opening Day for the Rangers.  Which I don't care about AT ALL!  The Rangers that is.  However, Scott and his friends have an Opening Day tailgate tradition that is tons of fun. 

We start early.  We were at the site at 8:30am.  In the Six Flags parking lot, they have a special spot that's grassy with trees and lots of room.  The amount they each pay helps buy kegs, port-o-potties and most importantly, food.  The food is amazing.  SOOOO yummy.  Earl cooks it all up right.  Shredded pork, drumsticks, baked potatoe salad, sausage, stuffed jalapeno's wrapped in bacon, enchilada fixin's.... an so.much.more.  It's delicious.  Earl cooks at The Franchise {HERE}, which is a sports bar and grill {I guess} in Plano.  Worth a visit, friends.  :)

Anyway, so we eat, drink and socialize all day until game time.  Well, I jetted early.  I wanted to go ahead inside and meet up with Sarah and Karen.  They have their own tradition of going every year.  We met up last year, post game, to hang out at the after game concert.  This year, I knew of no concert that seemed appealing, so I just met up with them beforehand.  I grabbed my ticket from Scott and walked up to the stadium by myself.  We met up and I accompanied them on a tee shirt shopping trip.  Let me remind you, I'd been enjoying some frosty adult beverages since early in the morning.  My memories of this shopping excursion are fuzzy.  Something about me wearing a GIANT foam Rangers hat... Sarah and Karen trying on shirts in the store...  Neal McCoy singing the National Anthem {BLAH!!}... and then splitting back up.  I went back to my section and they went on to theirs.

I enjoyed the game.  We sat right behind Josh Hamilton.... and all that that implies.  :)  The first homerun {hit by the other team} landed about 5 rows in front of us and they had a contest that, had the poor kid been able to throw a wiffle ball into a target, everyone in our section {section 4} would have won a jacket.  Instead we got Chicken Express coupons for free something or another.

I only took 2 pictures all day.  Which is not like me at all, but tells you how much fun I was having.

Scott and I left sometime in the 6th inning and went to the store to get some trinkets for the boys and then went back to the tailgate site.  Scott wanted to beat the masses out of the stadium. 

That's when the fun began.  ::Snicker::

We walked up to the site and I saw 2 guys from the group arguing.  This was apparently the end of the drama.  So let me paint you a picture of what happened...

While we all went to the game, about 4 people stayed behind.  Drinking being a factor, they started messing with each other.  By that I mean, when any of them went into the port-o-potty, they were apparently fair game.  This seemed like a hilariously good idea at the time, I'm sure.  We've all been there.  And it went like these things normally do... too far.

Whilst one lad was using the mobile facilities {one that had been used by about 50 people over the course of the day}, the shaking began, like they'd been doing to each other for awhile.  However, this time, they lifted it and while teetering it they lost control of it.... DUMPING IT OVER WITH THIS GUY INSIDE.

I'll let that sink in.


Obviously, madness ensued. 

Punching.  Fighting.  Yelling.  Everything you'd expect.  Except death.  Because if it had been ME inside, someone would have died. 

The excretion-assulted person left {after handling the situation WAY better than I would have imagined} and the potty pusher stayed behind and was left to deal with the craziness that came with the rest of the group coming back {as the game was over now}.  Wow.  Wild, yes?

Not over. 

Apparently, our departed friend unknowingly had our afore mentioned cook's keys.  So unwittingly, Earl the master of culinary yum, is an unfair victum of the Toilet Trama.  Meaning the man who took a blue water bath, now has to come back.  To Arlington.  And to the scene of shame.   

All ended well... enough.  The person at fault admitted to fault and apologized and was, seemingly, forgiven... so hurray for that. 

The REAL victim here is the sausage and beans that were spilled in the midst of the inital fight where a table was used as an object to hit someone with.  RIP unappreciated goodness.  :(



De!dre said...


Sarah said...

Oh Durbs!! I laughed so hard. I had to call Karen and read it to her. Yesterday when we were trying to leave the parking lot of cars...we also saw people doing that. This one came sooooo close to tipping. I grab my camera. ha!

It was great seeing you yesterday!

KRiSTiN said...

lol, i can't imagine many things grosser than used potty water washing over someone. ::Gag::
it tickles my gag reflex.

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