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Saturday, October 09, 2010

Freaky Top Five

In celebration of October and Halloween, MY top 5 SCARIEST movies.  Not necessarily my favorites or the "best" {I may do these at some point this month}.  But the scariest.  The ones that left you with an almost tangible terror. 

5. Arachnophobia

Out in the country. Spider infestation. John Goodman armed with poison. One big mama spider with a gnarly attitude. Spiders are creepy on their own. If they over took a town… ::shivers:: You can’t watch that movie and not feel something crawling on you. I STILL sometimes get anxious in the shower and have to check the shower head for spindly spiders waiting to eat my face off. Admit it… after that movie you were never more appreciative of the chirping of crickets.

4. Dawn of the Dead

I didn’t find this movie in it’s entirety very scary. But the beginning… WHOA! Cute, blond, little girl neighbor is inexplicably in your bedroom with a bloody face. UM... Weird. She suddenly attacks your bed mate with inhuman agility and force. Weirder. Bed mate dies then comes after YOU. Weirdest. Hardcore first 10 minutes. That and the fact that it implies that our heroes all die after going to extremes while seeking refuse makes it one of my favorites, though. {Also someone dies via chainsaw. Excellent}  By far, the BEST Zombie movie in existence in the way of.. "You know...I can convince myself this could happen".


You know why.  You've felt it.  Swimming away on your summer vacation at the beach, happy as a clam.  Then the first fingers of panic tickle your subconscious.  You swim a little faster.  Your toes curl as you kick because in your mind's eye, the teeth of a souless eating machine are inches from snacking on your lower half.  Before you know it you're swimming with determination of a triathlete on steroids and redbull. 

Is Bruce, the mechanical shark scary?  No.  But a good scary movie scares you long after the credits roll.  If you can mutter the phrase "it could happen" and that be truth... THAT is a scary movie.  Because lurking in the depths of the beautiful blue ocean are carnivorous fish of enormous proportions.  And they won't even give you the chance to beg for your life.  It's the not knowing.  Not being able to see in every direction while your snorkeling.  Not that seeing a shark would save you from it.  On land, we rule the roost.  In the water... different story entirely.  I LOVE sharks... but I don't want to be surprised by one.  Espeically a GIANT one.  Because who really knows what's down there....

YOU get in the water in the middle of the ocean and tell me it doesn't cross your mind.  Thank you Mr. Spielberg.  Eternal terror.

2. Pet Semetary

What's a parents absolute worst nightmare?  The death of a child.  Nothing more horrible than that.  Oh.  Except that child coming back to life and going on a playful killing spree.  Seriously, is there anything more creepy than a child ghost thing?  No.  That child, Gage {shout out to Gibs' nephew} telling his mommy "Now I want to play with YOOOOU!" creeps me the F--- out.  Absolute shut-your-eyes moment... the scalpel/achilles heel moment.  GAWD!  I literally just tucked my feet under myself while typing this.  YIKES!

1. Nightmare on Elm Street

You can avoid zombies.  Vampires can be killed.  Don't watch the video from The Ring.  Sharks can't get you in you house.  If you avoid burying your pets and family members in an indian burial ground, you should be fine.  However, you can't avoid sleep.

You will sleep.  By choice or by accident.  We need sleep.  Fact of life.  Like breathing.  You can put it off... but not forever.  And when you DO sleep.... Freddy will be there.  Run my friend.  Because if he kills you in your dreams, you die in real life. 

These movies are my FAVORITE.  Wes Craven, I applaud you.

Most memorable seen?  SOOO many.  But the waterbed scene wins.  Hands down.  However, that video's pretty inappropriate for posting here on my family friendly blog {naked ladies not be found on this blog, try my husband's "poker" forum}. 

"One, two, Freddy's coming for you. Three, four, better lock your door. Five, six, grab your crucifix. Seven, eight, gonna stay up late. Nine, ten, never sleep again."

I'd like to award these Honorable Mentions...

The newest version of The Exocist for "Creepiest Single Scene". HOLY TERRIFYING SPIDERWALK!!!

HellRaiser for "Most Cringe Worthy Gore"



Sarah said...

Oh Kristin! How i love thee horror movies. Your top five were pretty spot on! And thank you for the shout out!! Nothing is better than LOVING scary movies than having your nephew named Gage. I always can't the shivers when he is around my ankles. And your #1 is spot on..You can't not sleep. ::que my screaming last month:: I think you should add Hostel...CaReeepy! It could happen Durbs....it could happen.

Anonymous said...

I guess I'm a chicken and don't do well with the creepy movies.
I did however see Pet Cemetary and Jaws, of course.....definitely scared me big time.
I remember Cujo and found that really scary...thanks for making my mornings interesting, Kristin. I'm always checking to see what you've been up to and I'm never disappointed...Margie

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