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Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Naked old ladies

The first of my birthday celebrations is tomorrow {Wednesday}.  I am spending the last day of my 20's with some friends and family painting at Painting with a Twist.  We're appropriately painting something titled "Reflections". 

I'm excited.  I will, of course, have pictures to post later.  I may save everything up, though, and just make one big post.  Thursday is the day.  I'm doing lunch with my favorite work friends, Sally and Wendy, and then dinner with my hubby and boys Thursday night.  Then Saturday is dinner and Pocket Sandwich Theatre with my friends.  Should be a fabulous time! 


I used my birthday as an excuse to buy myself something today.  I bought a super cute new top.  I went to Macy's in Willowbend {across the street from my office} at lunch and bought a fun top to wear Saturday night.  So I went to pay for it and....

Wait.  I have to back up.  REWIND!

Before heading to Vegas to attend Sarah's wedding, I went with my friend Sally at lunch one day to buy a dress to wear.  We went to Macy's, I found a dress, and I bought it.  She actually bought the exact same dress, lol.  We won't wear it together, I promise.  Anyway, as we were checking out, the little old lady who works there started chatting about Egypt and the riots.  Before we knew what happened she went OFF about greed and such.  Her rant was peppered with curse words.  Not in an angry way.  But in a conversational way.  Like she did it all the time.  WHAT?!  Not the little ones, either.  The big one.  F--- this and f---ing that.  It was SHOCKING.  This tiny lady, who was charming as heck, was spouting words that should have made her blush.  We giggled.  It was funny.  But I'd forgotten about it.

Until today.

I checked out with... you guessed it, the little old cursing lady.  As I handed the woman my top and she smiled and fluffed her very black {very dyed} hair and started talking about her belt.  I wait for a barrage of cussing.  It didn't happen. 

INSTEAD, she started talking about how her belt was loose because she was loosing weight.  And she weighs herself everyday.  But ALWAYS naked and ALWAYS in the morning after she poops.

I'll let that sink in. 

In the first 10 seconds of approaching her counter, I knew... that about her.  What is it about me that welcomes that behavior?!  She was perfectly normal to the 2 people in line in front of me.  No talk of elderly nakedness or poop.  Why me?

I guess she could tell I am approaching 30 and would soon be an old cussing granny just like her.  If oldness means I get to horrify youngsters with stories of my own wrinkly nudity and crass subjects.... I am IN!  This is looking better and better!  Bring on the walker and shuffleboard!!  This could be fun.

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